Monday, July 20

isucks . i sucks lots .

Current Mood
Current Music [None]

i Fucking hate myself .
i hate myself for making my friends sad .

why,
why am i such an idiot .

i am seriously very very depressed now .
feels like crying now .
or maybe i am going to cry real soon .

why cant i make them happy .
hearing their melancholy voices .
i feel like i am the fucking cause of it .
i tried my best to make them cheerful,
but ended up getting them even more upset .

i sucks totally .
i dont know why am i still living in this world .
just to make people sad ?

i am very useless .
i could not make them smile .
even kanglin sobbed and emoed on his birthday,
even had to make my beloved bestie sad over me every now and then .
i am a fucker .

i am feeling superly miserable .
i think i am a fucking jinx .

no one really needed me .
no one really loves me from their bottom of their heart .
they claimed, but just to make me glad .
i sense that they do not need me at all .

i decided to scram myself away from their lives .
bringing darkness away so that light can shine on them .
and so that they can smile again .
forgive me for ignoring .
forgive me for being selfish .
but i do not know how long am i able to stand up strongly, holding their darkness away because i am going to fall real soon .

i sucks,
i sucks lots .

i really want my friends to be happy, especially and especially and especially my bestie .
i love my bestie a lot . a lot .
but it always seems like i am the cause of his sadness .
i do not want him to be sad !
why am i such a fucking idiot !
i should jolly well vanish from his life, or even vanish from this world for im a fucking idiot,
who only knows how to make people sad .
Maybe bestie would live better without me hurting him anymore .

i sucks ! i sucks !
i should go to hell !
i should be banged by the cars when i go to school .
and let crows feed on me !
my sins can never be forgiven .

im not emo .
just hating myself .
and blame myself a lot for being a failure and even making people around me sad .
i should die .

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