I desperately need plenty of sleep . exhausted ):

Current Mood
Current Music [Verynoisyhere]

Currently in Canteen(II) now ._.

Superly tired & moody now .
Skipped lunch as usual but this time i have got my reasons .

1. No appetite
2. Feels like vomiting when i see food
3. Finished using my pocket money for this and next week (went shopping & keep spending because very depressed)

Even if i got money in my savings, i do not want to use them because i really got no appetite to eat anything
Did not sleep well late night, was busy doing my school works but still could not manage to finish it .

i think that i have waste enough of time .
i should get things started now, though it is a little too late .
but i will try as much as i can to be responsible of the things that i am responsible of .

this week has been a gloomy week for me .
nehmindds .

thanks a million to all that tried to make me happy ((:
i know who you are!

the next BIG assignments i need to do is FP laaas .
cause me a lot headache -.-
i also want to watch harry potter, but when i think of my exams, i hesitated .
*sighs*

huiqin is kind of not feeling well today .
almost hit the fever level .
get well soon alrights (:

Jy: YOO YY AKA THCAKEE :}!
Me: HELLLOS ! :D
milk: lahlahlah~~ 1st dae noe me?
Me: lols no comments ..
Harryy: haha . but you didn fufill it :X
Me: LOLS, i broke my own promise )): haiss ..
D: cheer up, you can be assured that in the shadows, there will be others who care for you
Me: based on the way you comment, i know who are you x.x thanks anyways (: Greatly appreciated {:
tlz: tag : )
Me: thankyouu ! ^^
Harryy: cheer up , lol , worst then my post sia ):
Me: thankyouu harry potter {: you cheer up too !
jon: i don know u add me as ur fan in plurk?? i was shocked by u!!
Me: Ohhs ~ but why you say you seen me before in school last year ? O:
milk: walaos eh i not human meh. I LOVE YOU FROM MY BTM OF MY HEART I NEED YOU
milk: hahas. dun ever emo infront of milk-sama again! HOHOHOHO
Me: err.. thanks (:
yunchao: hello
yunchao: i love you. im from nyp DE0902
yunchao: COME FIND ME tyc_rh@hotmail.com
yunchao: come visit me i'll do connfession for u
yunchao: x3x3x3x3x3x3x3x3x3x3x3x3x3x3x3
Me: lmaos -.- bullshits .
Jeremiah: Helloooo yingyi. How are u?
Me: Hellos ! :D - im finee tq ! ^^
milk: a tag a day wont distant us away~~ XD
Jy: Hohos, come kacau yi xia. Anyways, -pokes- tag your it :}
Me: Lmaos ! thankyouu ^^
andy: hey don hate yrself ur not the cause of everything (:
Me: hope so .. thanks anyways {:
TONY: done~ xD
TONY: lalalala hehee jiayou ! xD
Me: lol thanks ~ & i will (:

- i still love transformers X:

isucks . i sucks lots .

Current Mood
Current Music [None]

i Fucking hate myself .
i hate myself for making my friends sad .

why,
why am i such an idiot .

i am seriously very very depressed now .
feels like crying now .
or maybe i am going to cry real soon .

why cant i make them happy .
hearing their melancholy voices .
i feel like i am the fucking cause of it .
i tried my best to make them cheerful,
but ended up getting them even more upset .

i sucks totally .
i dont know why am i still living in this world .
just to make people sad ?

i am very useless .
i could not make them smile .
even kanglin sobbed and emoed on his birthday,
even had to make my beloved bestie sad over me every now and then .
i am a fucker .

i am feeling superly miserable .
i think i am a fucking jinx .

no one really needed me .
no one really loves me from their bottom of their heart .
they claimed, but just to make me glad .
i sense that they do not need me at all .

i decided to scram myself away from their lives .
bringing darkness away so that light can shine on them .
and so that they can smile again .
forgive me for ignoring .
forgive me for being selfish .
but i do not know how long am i able to stand up strongly, holding their darkness away because i am going to fall real soon .

i sucks,
i sucks lots .

i really want my friends to be happy, especially and especially and especially my bestie .
i love my bestie a lot . a lot .
but it always seems like i am the cause of his sadness .
i do not want him to be sad !
why am i such a fucking idiot !
i should jolly well vanish from his life, or even vanish from this world for im a fucking idiot,
who only knows how to make people sad .
Maybe bestie would live better without me hurting him anymore .

i sucks ! i sucks !
i should go to hell !
i should be banged by the cars when i go to school .
and let crows feed on me !
my sins can never be forgiven .

im not emo .
just hating myself .
and blame myself a lot for being a failure and even making people around me sad .
i should die .

No more sucky long fringy ! :D

Current Mood
Current Music Linkin Park - New Divide

Went piano lesson in the morninq as usual laaaas -.-
nth to blog about today ! X:

Yesterday !
Went Bugis&Marina with bestiee laaaaaaaaas !! ._.
andd found out that bestie's waist size is THIRTY-ONE sehhs manxzxz ! ^^
*drools X:

DID NOT eat the whole day except for two desserts&bits bcuz im "sick" laaas . zzz
misses bestie alot now !!

Went to the same hair salon to cut my frinqe 2 days ago ! ~_~
Have been their loyal customer for years liiaos siiiaaa !! hehehees ! :D
they superly friendly laa ! keep talking to me onee X:
it is not like they cut hair rawks laaaaas, budden, ...
go there got "qinq qie gan" lorrrs ~
as in, i just feel like going there laaas -.- LOLL
a FEELING LA OK ! X.X

the hairdresser said that i have really slim down ! O:
and my face is not as round lerrs !
like i have not been eating well like that x.x
haiss ........

aniwayss ,
lonq fringy looks really sucky on mee laaaas ! ~
now it's banqs but mine special, a lil slant + a lil thinner :P
cuz she says if too horizontal will make my face even rounder X:
so she "edit" a lil bit X: hees ! ~

Previews (dont mind my expression X:)



Last week watched Ice Age 3: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs in 3-D at vivo with KanqLin O:
i Loveeee it ! it's nice ! budden transformers still better :PPP
wakakkaaas ~

Anyways,
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY AGAIN KANGLIN !!

hehehehees !

Cannot believe my mother using my facebook to play happyville, barnbuddy & whatever farm things laaas -.-
If you guys see me playing lame games like farming or pet society in facebook it's not me okayys ~
x.x

tears rolled down my eyes this morninq,
idk whyyie at first ..
super emo this morninqq ..
andd dhenns someone asked me the date today,
i realise ..
it is ..
19 July ..
many thoughts&wonders came into my mind,
idk if i should be happy or sad about day 19 .
hais ...

Bestie cares more for his manga then me T.T
* sobbs *
unloved lil ying yi gonna cry again soon *waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahs!!* T.T

No appetite again today !
not gonna eat dinner oso later !
T.T

but feels like eating hot BAK KUT TEHHHH !! T.T
hais !

i've been PLURKING these few DAYS !
been updating more on Plurk than bloq so do check me out there !! ^^
i miss you ..

Didn't late for lesson ! :D

Current Mood
Current Music [None]

In BS class now ! ._.

Cher now going through test paper :P
Not revealing my test result ! hehehheheees !!

iie finally NO late for my class LEHHYS MANXZXZ !! :D
omggg !! ~
*good job YING YI !! :D
*-pat-pat-*
Mr Lim looked at me && smile just now sehhs manxzxz !!
*bigbig grin* :DD
HEHEHEHEEEES !

i am STILL wearing my sis's SLIPPERS LAAAS !!
4 sizes bigger than mine CANNNS !
ii scare i wear till like duck, or like that flippers that are used for diving sia LMAOS :X
Blehhhs !! :P

MY MAIDDDDD !! T.T
went back to her hometown for few weeks laaa !
mom&dad working till late night !
does this mean that me&sis gotta do all the chores ? O:
iie think sis gonna be doing most of the work because i end school at 6pm ~_~
Poor sister.. JIIAYOUUS OKAY ! :D
lovesya ! ~ :P

MY FRINGEEEEEEE !!
it's vehhhh lonqqq laaaaaaaaas !!
idk if i wanna continue continue growing my fringe && side it (seems sho lmaotic X:)
or cut it short again && look like a lil girl LOLLLS
idk laaaas~ mayb wait few more days dhenns decide bahhs ! :/

Last week had watched Duplicity&&Transformers2 !
Duplicity is okay only, i do not think many youngsters would like it ~ :/
went with darlinq-bestie ! {:

hees ! LOVE Transformers alot laaaa cannns ! (L)
:D
i love i love i love i lovee it veh muchhh laaaas !!! :D
It's coool lorrs ! even random machines also can transformed manxz x.x
Bestie was veh feeling cold while watching it,
&& was hugging on my right arm till iie ytd cramp until cant play my piano well :/

Forqet tuhh brinq mahh earrinqs tuhh school todayy laas ! X:
feels weirdd laa dheyys ~ :/

haiss .. cant go back home late till my maid comes back because mom told me to go straight home immediately to take care of sister D:
*-sobs-sobs-*

Sometimes, i really really ask myself .
I admit i am a person who really likes to look at cute guys, especially with banqs .
but do i really go for looks when looking for a bf ?
my answer is a definite no && i am super sure of it !

hehehees ! till now oso have not finish downloading bestie's mangas X:
iie kip delaying hehhee :P
Currently i like Change123 LOL X:
It's kinda pervertic at the beginning budden, but its nice {:
i think i like it because i love fighting scenes alot dhat's whyyie bahs lol ?
reminds me of Samurai Deeper Kyo ! X: (L)(L)
hehehehees !! ~

lame things :

Chat with a weird old man ._.

Current Mood
Current Music [None]

i had installed everything back into my laptop ! YAYS !
iie still greedy asked for more extra things to be installed, hehhees

had a "heart-to-heart" talk with a wise OLD man today . O:
He was just a stranger, but what he said were quite meaningful .

He asked what would i want to be .
i replied don't know, i didn't even choose this course out of my passion .
i simply have no idea what i want to be .
He asked what choices was it, i said it was the fifth, and told him what courses other i had chosen .

Then talked about my family .
and he wants me to do him a favor, that is to hug my mom .
i told him it is a superly very embarrassing thing to do .
then i added,
i know it very well, deep inside my heart, that my parents dote && love me very much .
i really feel absolute bad about my nonchalant attitude towards them, even though i love them too .
it is rather awkward && embarrass for me to them " i love you" or even a simple hug .
Then he said, since you can hug you bf, why cant you hug your mom who know && live with you for more than 16 years ?
)):

I also told him about my bad habit of sleeping at 3am .
Then he wants me to do another favor, that is to sleep early .. at most around 12am .
He said i shouldn't be doing this and explain about the liver functions thingy .
He said i will also get older faster and pointed out my big dark eye circles .
"You are an attractive person, and at your age now, you should be sleeping early ."

Then he talks about my addicts .
&& tells me about his friends' cases after having too much of drugs such as ice and ecstasy .
We also talk about some relationship stuffs, taught me how make my own signature, my future(how am i going to support my parents)
And many other things ..

He is rather old, around 54, but he look like he is in his 40s .
Quite a healthy old man .
Though he just a stranger (we talked as i was waiting for my longlong installations), what he said to me makes a lot of sense && i've already regard him as a friend .
But he also seems so .. "hypnotizing" my mind .
Nevertheless, i am sure i have a better view on life .
hees !
I think it's just all about fate that we can chat with each other !

It's 7July tomorrow,
i do not know if i should wish him .
probably not, for he must be hating me && trying to avoid me a lot .
i hope to pass him something, but he did say that he doesn't want to owe me anything .
alrights . rejected indirectly .
His attitude was like ... wanna cut every single ties with me .
i really do not wanna bother him && don't wanna wish him,
but deep right down my heart, i wanted to say a simple "happy birthday" to him .
i think if i say it, it would be a bad birthday for him ..
so, maybe i shouldn't talk to him, but i'll just wish him in my heart ..

Currently i am downloading manga for my bestie !
Andd will be sleeping soon ! * i think i have broken a promise for myself to sleep at 10 today X: (review previous post)
heees, but at least i have made improvement alrights !

Chynna went back home during lunch time .
GET WLL SOON CHYNNA !

Though they don't know my blog hees , i still wanna say ..

I love you mom & dad !

hees ! meetinq up wid darlinq-bestie tomorrow ! :D
omq . i think i am so gonna look fkinq weird with that T-shirt he gave :/

missing a lot people now ! :D

Bought spects . ):

Current Mood
Current Music We Made You

Today superly tiredd laa cannss ! )):
everyday like owl like dhat ! X:

woke up at 7 uhh go fer piano lesson AS USUAL -.-
borinqq ~ ..
kena piano cher scoldinq AS USUAL -.-
*yawnns D:

went IMM after dhat .
ate cheesecake&beeflasagne .
&& got myself a pair of spectacles -.-

ohmygawdd !!
L from 200 to 275 laa !!
R still 200 X:
bought a brown full frame one i tink X:

i tink i got to wear spects out lerr laa ..
cannot insist not to wear lerr )):
sobbs ..
wannna cryyy lerrs T.T
*boohoohooo ~

now head spinninq inside lurhhs !
not enuff slp !
SOMEONE FORCE ME SLEEP EARLY CANNNNS !
FOOOOOOORCE ME IN WADEVA METHOD LA !!!
I'LL BE DAM GRATEFUL LAA ! :D

lmaos :/

click if you are bored X: (no any offence down here :P)


LMAOS !!
wtff !!
2dae i learn SOMETHING from my fwen,
Randomly add people in facebook .
i added like 5 guys 2 females .
OMFG LAAAA
i feel sho retarded&dumb cannns !
the responses X:

OMGGGGG LAAAAAS !
i'd never gonna anyhow add le X:
sho superly dumb laaaaaaas !
dhenns i see liiao now dun wanna reply them le X:
awkward -.-

zzzzzz !!
gonna shower soon !
missinq alot people now ! :D

I am very contented now. Friends are supporting me && didn't let me fall ! i feel the love ! Thanks all ! Really appreciate it la ! You guys RAWKS :D `xoxo

[continuee..]

It's 2.45 a.m now !
im sick&tired of sleepin at 3pm !
hate my sleeping late lifestyle ! )):

Since computer is my distraction to going to bed,
From tml onwards, i will off com at 10pm !
I WILL DO IT & I MUST!!
Must drop that bad habit of sleeping late !

For my parents,
for my sister,
for my friends,
for my darlings&gans,

Me, yingyi will sleep early from 6 July onwards !

• shower&eat before 9pm
• off computer at 10pm
  

This would mean low uptime of my msn online status .
)):
Miss Me? Couldn't chat on msn & wanna contact Me? SMS ME alright ! :D

If you are really my friend, FORCE ME TO SLEEP LAAAS x:
Off to bed ! :/

Went town O:

Current Mood
Current Music Know Your Enemy

Just woke up ! :D
Finally got time to blog manxzxzxz !!
I've decided not to twit too much in blog only X:
will try my best lurhhs hees

wooo :P
i feel really freed !
idk i should be really elated or what x.x

now finally even got the time to go BillBoard X:

This week:

1. Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling
2. Black Eyed Peas - Boom Boom Pow
3. Drake - Best I Ever Had

shall not reveal what songs i downloaded x:
budden, iie think BoomBoomPow or WeMadeYou ought to be the top 3 lorrs .
nehmindds,

transformers every sat oso full hse everywhr onee -.-
danqss ..
hais ..

b4 i went out, could not find my camera so used old phone's camera to take picture .

hees, sis was playing dota sehhs manxzxz ! :D
AIISEHHS ! :D

[continued @ 12.40a.m ..]

Backk from town .. !!
went orchard - wisma atria&cineleisure
dhenns walked to somerset to dhouby ghuat && to plaza sin ..

Wanted to watch transformers, but full house .
&& later bestie said Ice-Age, but i do not like, so in the end did not watch any movies lerrs .

Hahaas ! as usual, met up with bestie && i was so damn late ok !
sorry bestie )):
everytime made you wait for more than 1 hour ~_~
heheees !
not purposely onee )):

bestie treat some desserts&beefspeghetti ! x.x
dhenns ard 7++ i feel veh tired lerrs .. eyes closing bcuz we had been walkinq for a longlong period x.x

Met up with that lenovo victor service staff at around 11.15pm
Got back my laptop, YAYS ! :D
budden all data lost )):
hais ..
kinda depressed D:
but nehmindds, fated bahhs .

Harry sent me a web to dl maplev62,
till now till 0%, its been like 30mins ..
hope it will work laaaas !

hahahaas !
freaking tired la canns !
got to practise my piano soon .. !! )):

Syao sux. kip sayinq i moan everyday -.-

Hate you for lying to me all along . x/3

The most memorable sms from him .
30 Jun 2009 @ 10.30pm

"I got something to confess... I lied about having 2 ex. I got 11.. Sorry for lying.. And out if the 11 only 2 i really put in real love.. [blahblah]"

After these 5 months of relationship, he showed up his true colours .

Thou i replied its okay .
i am really not .
I am feeling sense of betrayal .
Only did we break up, he then confessed .
I am just being kind by replying "its okay" .
but,
does it mean that if i did not break with him, he would not have told me and continue lying to me as we move on ?
the answer seems a confident yes to me .

He told me a number of lies, i am fine with it and forgave him .
but there are two major ones,
He lied about his real academic situation .
telling me RP ended up part-time in ITE .
i do not mind him studying in wherever place .
as long as he told me the truth, and not lying to me .
i forgave him for this lie, but up next is his ex lies .

Will there be anymore lies coming out from him ?
Maybe he could have more exs, but does not want to admit to minimize the impact ?
who knows .

I could not tolerate anymore of his lies and anything about him .

He looks like some idiot playboy to me now .
I am very hurt, depressed and despair .
He is just making me to feel that all guys are the same .
no, i should not think that way .
no, i should not think that way .

True love has never ever been in my dictionary before .
It never exist at all .
He proved my hypothesis .
He proved my belief .

He said in one of his smses[20 Jun-day after we broke],

I just wanna say this... yingyi.. U've been the first girl that touches my heart .. I wont be able to forget about u.. I will wait fer you ..

BULLSHITS !

He said there he has two exs that he really loved . (top of the post)
Why is he contradicting himself ?
Lies made him that way ?

It is not like i break with him and cannot forget him or keep reminiscing about him .
It all about feeling of betrayal and being lied on .
which makes me feel like i am being played on .
It is not a good feeling at all .
I always thought he was such a good and caring guy, but i was so wrong .
He is like, if we did not break, he will continue to lie on to me .
and make me feel as if i am still living in my wonder land .
The land of wonders and hopes .

I am so dumb to even buy birthday presents for him .
He is not even worth my 40bucks birthday presents .
Not even the cost of that movie ticket which i treated him two weeks ago .

He is a con-man .

I do not like the fact that my boyfriend has many ex .
To me, once a playboy, will always be a playboy.
As a saying goes,

a leopard would never change it's spots

They will NEVER settle down, TRUST ME !
He did not tell me the fact just to keep me by his side .
He lied just to continue playing with me .
He is sinned by his selfishness and lies .
No one loves to be lied .
He has hurt me, deep lots .

He will not be forgiven . x/3
forever ..